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Jul 03, 2020
Full disclosure. I didn't sell my first painting until just before my 50th birthday. My first solo exhibition was in a local café last winter. I set up my first basic website last year. Very few people outside my immediate family knew that I painted this time last year.
I've learnt that it's never too late to follow your dreams.
What did you want to be when you were eight? I painted all the time when I was young. I had complete confidence in my abilities when I was eight. I knew exactly what I wanted to be. A writer, an artist and an actress. All three maybe.
In First Year in secondary school when I was 12, the teacher went around the classroom asking everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up. Most of the girls said they wanted to be a nurse. The boys were a bit more varied - a doctor, an engineer, an electrician... I was bursting with excitement for my turn. I knew exactly what I was going to say. Finally it was my turn - 'an actress!' I proudly declared. The whole class burst out laughing. I went red. I felt embarrassed. I'd said the wrong thing. Why did they laugh?
I loved art class and won a place in Art college. Aged 17, I couldn't decide between a place in art college or going to university. So the night before I had to decide, I tossed a coin. It landed for university and I followed that path, grandly declaring to myself that if I wasn't going to paint professionally, I would never paint again. I turned my back on painting for a very long time.
I studied English and French literature, did a Masters in French poetry and had an amazing year living in Paris visiting art galleries.
I acted in plays in school and university and I loved the theatre world but I decided I wasn't good enough to make it as an actress, working in theatre administration for a while.
I was a bit lost in my twenties. I studied Business. I gravitated towards to 'creative' side of business, marketing and advertising.
I got a job. Several jobs. I travelled. I got married. I had three beautiful children. I was very busy being a mum, a wife and working.
There was always a yearning for something else. For something more. For something creative. Year after year, I kept writing 'make space for creativity' and pinning it on my noticeboard.
Eventually, I started painting again - slowly, privately, at home, in the corner of our living room.
I had to be selfish to paint. I think women, especially when we become mothers are naturally selfless, putting our children in front of our own needs. I found it very. difficult to make the time to paint. I painted at the weekends when my husband was around to take care of the children.
Slowly, I gained confidence. I joined an art class one evening a week. That was a huge leap for me. I was terrified to paint outside my home. It felt incredibly exposing for others to see my work. During that first class, I was so nervous but I loved the time it gave me to paint during the week.
Every small act of bravery gave me confidence to take another step.
I took another giant step by entering a painting into an open call in local art gallery. Amazingly, it was accepted and I was in a real proper exhibition with real artists for the first time! The painting even sold! How amazing was that? What a confidence boost!
Each act of bravery led to another. Each step I took propelled me along to the next.
Looking back, this time last year, I had sold that first painting in a group exhibition. I didn't yet have a website. Most people who knew me didn't know I painted but I was slowly returning back to the inner confidence I had when I was eight. I felt like I was returning to me.
It was like a light had gone on and I knew that this is what I wanted to do, that this is who I wanted to be.
As a late starter, I felt I had no time to lose. I worked incredibly hard. I put every spare hour I had into painting. I took over an attic bedroom as a studio, my precious messy space.
I'm grateful for every moment I spend painting. I love all parts of my fledging art career - not just the painting part, but every email inquiry, every new artist connection I make, even packaging and sending paintings is fun because this is my dream job. Each step I take is leading me to the next just as each painting is leading me to the next one.
Some of the lessons I've learned along this journey:
I hope this helps you. I'd love to hear about your creative journey.
Éadaoin x
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